Awake Now 👍

I’ve been getting up at 5:30, but not taking meds until 8:00. It’s hard. They make such a difference. Without them, I kind of feel like the walking dead. Or in my case, the sitting around, doing nothing dead.

After I’ve been medicated for a half hour or so, I’m ready to go. I’m all set to do this, that, everything. Like how most people are after they’ve had their morning coffee, I guess.

Coffee used to do it for me, too. But after Aislyn was born in 2017, everything just felt hard. Even the easiest things.

Again, I feel I must clarify that in no way do I blame Aislyn for my depression or weight gain or anything. Both were problems for me well before she ever came into existence.

I described my symptoms to Dr. Naimark and somehow we got on the topic of attention deficit.

He had me do the screener and sure enough.

It wasn’t the first time ADHD had come up on my radar, though, either. In 2016, through Vocational Rehabilitation Services, I had a battery of testing to attempt to identify an auditory processing disorder and to rule out any other disabilities for eligibility for hearing aids.

That’s how I know I have very high verbal ability; they tested my speech-language, also.

That’s how I know I’m probably not autistic; I got that screening, too.

I did test right on the border for inattention and unusually high impulsivity, though.

Anyway, the following year, Dr. Naimark told me sometimes if a person has untreated ADHD it can manifest as depression.

So he put me on Adderall, and suddenly, life was manageable again.

I have to go take a shower. Talk later.