Friday

Got up at 4:30 this morning. I had two nightmares that made me scream. Luckily, I was on the couch, and didn’t disturb anyone.

No sign of tugger training, yet. Maybe Eddie will forget or be too busy. What? I’m not scared.

Actually, I think the tugger will be easier and much less dangerous than the forklift. I’m partly looking forward to it and partly, of course, nervous.

I cut my bangs too short this morning, so now they look stupid. I hate short bangs. I look like a little girl. With laugh lines.

I’m trying to be tongue-in-cheek. Is it working?

Probably not if I have to tell you I’m trying to be.

Some might say I have a dry sense of humor. Or that I am deadpan. I often try to joke with people and they think I’m being serious.

It’s probably my face. Even when I think I’m smiling, I’m usually not.

I don’t do it on purpose. People often think I’m mad or sad, and I’m usually totally fine. I’m just not smiling.

It’s been a thing since I was a kid.

But, honestly, unless I’m depressed, which I’m generally not, anymore, because of treatment, I only appear mad, sad, or serious. I’m actually just fine.

Sometimes, I guess, when I’m thinking really hard or trying to concentrate on something, I appear to be upset. But I’m not. I’m just trying really hard to focus. I probably look very upset if I’m trying to focus amidst distractions and background noise. It’s almost like I’m straining to stay on task at times. I am constantly asking people to repeat stuff.

Maybe I need an Adderall increase. Or possibly, I should be wearing my hearing aids. But they give me a headache, and in any case, I can’t find them.

Anyway, I should probably get going. Have a good morning, my friends.