In My Own Way 👍

It turns out Aidan is not following the route. Not even a little bit. I’m concerned someone will get hurt.

So I’m less interested in making things right with him at the moment.

I had a very interesting conversation with Evan in the cafeteria. “Interesting” would be one way to describe it. Another way to describe it would be I was about an inch away from whacking him.

He recognized my tendency toward rejection/ avoidance. And teased me about it.

He does a fairly good Leah impression, actually. “I dunnoooo…” he says, with the exact right inflection.

“Hey…cut it out!”

I guess the most annoying part is that he’s right. I do do that. I don’t mean to. I’m my own worst enemy. I fear everything outside of my comfortable little bubble, and quietly resist anything new. It’s such an automatic behavior that often I don’t even think I’m aware of it until someone has pointed it out.

I have an infinite supply of excuses why this or that won’t work for me, and I deploy them subtly.

And here I think of myself as someone who is always looking to improve. I am getting in my own way right out the gate.

I wish I could talk more, but I have to get to the store before work. Tune in later for: The Birthday.

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