There is this classroom teacher. She is one of those folks who unapologetically demonstrates clear preferences, such as with coworkers. These preferences are obvious to everyone because she painstakingly makes them so.

Guess which list I’m on.

Lately, I’ve been very unhappy and stressed at work. I have spent an overwhelming amount of my valuable time, stewing over the teacher’s behaviors toward me: exclusion, lack of acknowledgement, and condescension, to name a few.

I think about it, talk about it, write about it.

Why am I expending so much energy on this woman? How is it helping me?

The answer is simple: it isn’t helping me. In fact, all of this ruminating is actually hurting me.

I am allowing this person to serve as an additional stressor in my life that I do not need!

So what is the solution? I’m not sure, yet.

I know what I tell the kids when their classmates annoy them: “Ignore him.” Sure, Mrs. Taylor. Easier said than done.

Disassociate from the negativity? Think about other things? Redirect my thoughts? Those all work for a little while.

This morning I tried meditation. It is a way to ground oneself in the present, letting your thoughts float through your mind without judgment, focusing solely on the now.

I have always secretly believed that meditation could change my life, if I could learn how to practice it effectively. I’ve just been putting it off for the last 47 years.

Given my childhood trauma, I often tend to err on the side of negativity, which can be very self-destructive. I have never found dwelling on my anger or troubling thoughts to be useful.

But I think I’m not wrong about meditation. It has seemed to help me a little already. Physically, I feel more relaxed. Emotionally, I feel more peaceful. And, though I have been writing about my unpleasant experiences with Ms. Popularity Contest, for the first time, maybe, I haven’t felt any anger in doing so.

There is definitely something to this meditation. If I feel this much better after trying it once, let’s see what a week will do.