I was looking back at my most recent posts and I felt encouraged to see how positive they were. Winter is particularly difficult for me, it’s the only season I actively dislike.

It helps that it is almost over, that the days are getting longer, and that I just had an operation that almost guarantees I’m going to lose weight for several months, but even still.

Given my depression and anxiety, I have tendencies toward negativity, especially this time of year. It’s nice to see I’m fighting the good fight to think positively. Because sometimes it is a fight.

Am I practicing what I’m preaching? I can say that for the most part, I am. I’ve been focusing on the good rather than dwelling on the not-so-good. For example, I lost the preschool job, but I’m looking forward to transitioning to regular education to see what that’s like. No case management responsibilities, no leading IEP meetings in the incredibly awkward way that I do. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even like it better. Only one way to find out.

The only thing that makes me nervous is the bathroom. I’m supposed to be sipping water all day long. What happens when I need to use the bathroom in the middle of a class?

Hahaha, “the only thing that makes me nervous…” Sure. I’m not at all nervous about working with 7th graders!

But I don’t know. They weren’t so bad in my last teaching job, except for that one day in that one math class I got thrown into. If I make an effort to get to know them, their interests, and so on, maybe it will be fine. Desmond is in 6th grade, how much different can 7th be?

Famous last words.

You have to have a sense of humor with kids this age, I know that. If you don’t, you’re toast. Or they’re toast. Either way, you don’t want toast.

You have to have empathy. I have plenty of that. 7th grade was, by a landslide, the worst, most difficult year of my childhood. Anyone who gets through it in one piece is amazing, in my opinion.

Lori said I did a good job with kids this age. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I can do it. Maybe I just need practice.

Maybe this year, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon the right thing for me. Lord knows it’s happened before.