Aislyn still has a fever. So she’ll have to go to the doctor today. She was up at 4:00 to go to the bathroom and asked if she could stay up with me. I was in the middle of making a frozen drink in the blender, so I said it was okay. I drank it as fast as I could, given my circumstances, and then we went in her room and I got her back to sleep.

I’m just watching her sleep.

She is so beautiful.

She’s afraid of the doctor because she hates taking medicine. If she won’t take mixed berry flavored Motrin, how am I going to get her to take something less pleasant?

We could never get her to take Dramamine, either. Not even the chewables. She used to get car sick on any trip longer than 10 minutes. We had extra towels in our back seats for years.

I can hear Desmond getting up for school. I kind of want to go out there and check on him. But I’m afraid of waking her up. She thinks she didn’t sleep at all last night.

Desmond and I, knock on wood, are still okay. We just have coughs. As far as I know.

Derek is better today.

I can’t help but worry when people are sick. I’m powerless to make them better. I worry when I’m sick, too, about the people I can’t be there for. It’s safe to say I just worry no matter what.

Susan, my first therapist, when I was 14, said not to worry about things I can’t control. But as an adult, I feel like I’m supposed to be in control of everything at all times. My anxiety.

If something is out of my control, I often feel like I haven’t done enough to gain control of it. Is that crazy?

Anyway, she’s awake again. I should go.