We’re only on Day 18, and I’m already plateauing. I’m supposed to be losing weight like crazy right now. I’m consuming under 1,000 calories a day. That’s, like, nothing. For someone who didn’t have the surgery, it would probably be considered borderline dangerous.

Of course I know why. It’s because my bus isn’t moving. It’s because I’m five days backed up.

I’m so fed up with my stupid body. I’ve done everything to help move it along: Miralax, Dulcolax, Fleet, senna tea, beans, mashed fruit, these horrible plant-based shakes that I hate so much, daily exercise. Nothing is working.

I have been eating bananas in my nice cream, she says, red creeping up her neck and into her cheeks. Look up any article. They will mostly all tell you that unripe bananas, at least, have starchy qualities that make them very binding.

Anyway, all of the kids’ pediatricians have always told us “no bananas.” Unfortunately, they have histories of severe and chronic constipation as well. I suspect they get it from their mama.

So maybe I should stop the nice cream. Or use fresh bananas that are very ripe like I used to do. It tastes better that way, anyhow.

I don’t do a lot of dairy. I use it as a garnish on some foods. I know not to exploit dairy because, remember, dairy doesn’t like me.

This has happened to me before. It happened in 2021 for three solid months. I had two unproductive visits to the ER, a consult with a GI specialist, and a colonoscopy, which, thankfully, came out normal. One entire bottle of Miralax later, per GI doctor, I was “cured.”Except I had to continue taking the Miralax everyday.

I know that chia seeds would help me, but I can’t eat seeds right now. Just prior to surgery, I wasn’t even taking any Miralax anymore. I was just mixing a couple of tablespoons of chia seeds into my food. I was doing quite well with that. That’s why this is such a bummer. I feel like I’ve regressed in that area. Well, I have.

I really am an old lady, aren’t I? I’ve become absolutely obsessed with this topic and oversharing it. But when it happens to you, it’s hard to think about (or talk about) much else. You feel lousy all the time, and it is concerning when something that needs to happen won’t.

So, here’s to another day of trying to get my bus up and going. Wish me luck. Pray for me.

I guess it could be worse.