I was having not nightmares exactly, but rather unsettling dreams, so I decided just to get up for now.

My stomach is in knots. All of the Miralax, Dulcolax, and senna tea have finally caught up with me, or so it would seem.

I am right on the edge of oneness, a place I haven’t been since my Lowe’s days. Since last winter, probably. It is an important milestone.

I like this time of night. It’s quiet. Peaceful. I can sit with my thoughts and generate actual work. It’s really hard to do any other time of day with all of the different distractions: TV, talking, kids, etc. I can do it sometimes, but it takes a lot of mental energy. It’s almost like a kind of involuntary multitasking, to be writing while simultaneously trying to manage the background noise.

I’ve been following neurodivergent memes on Facebook lately, and it’s interesting to me how much I identify with them. I mean, I read them because they’re funny. But they’re also true. I didn’t even know I was neurodivergent until 2017, but you’d think I might’ve guessed.

When I was a kid, ostracized by other kids, I always felt like I was no different from them and I couldn’t understand why they didn’t “get” me. I actually think, had I known I was in fact a little different from them, it would have been easier for me. It might’ve taken away the pressure to “be normal.” Well, I’m not normal, so don’t try to tell me to be something I’m not.

I don’t know, I’m just guessing.

Well, now it’s time to get up. And here I was thinking of getting back in bed. Nope.

It’s been fun, but now I have to go. Join me again sometime in the Wee Hours. Sounds like a podcast.