It probably seems like I watch a lot of television. I don’t. I watch about an hour a day of our favorite shows: Parks and Rec, The Office, Daria, Freaks and Geeks, before I go up to bed. I’ve seen the entire Friends series probably about eight times over the years.

I don’t often watch new shows. So much of television is now “reality TV,” which I kind of hate.

I’m lying. I don’t hate all reality TV. Some of the educational shows are interesting. Frontier House, a PBS show from the early aughts, was pretty good. The first season of Biggest Loser.

So You Think You Can Dance was my very favorite reality show, because I used to be a dancer, believe it or not: ballet, tap, jazz, and modern. But even that I don’t still watch, and I believe it’s still on.

Despite my limited television watching, I do spend quite a bit of time on my phone. Mostly to read and research, but sometimes to shop.

While I was taking that Yale course for professional development, I read a wonderful article from Psychology Today called The Empathy Trap. I am an empath to a fault, so I identified with the idea that feeling other people’s feelings too deeply can weigh you down.

I have a terrible time not getting consumed by others’ suffering, especially that of friends and loved ones. Just thinking about someone else’s sadness or isolation is enough to make me cry. The thought of almost anyone’s grieving, even my worst enemies, can put me in a bad mood.

I realize how this sounds: like a back door brag, right? It’s not meant to. I’m not trying to broadcast how wonderful I am because “I care too much.” Like everyone else, I am flawed, and for that matter, maybe more so than most.

I actually see my empathy as somewhat of a weakness. My Achille’s heal. It’s hard to be effective with anyone when you’re sharing too much of their sorrow.

The article describes the difference between being overly empathetic and taking someone’s perspective, the latter being healthier, more balanced, and ultimately more helpful to both of you. While you don’t have to be entirely neutral or detached from someone’s struggles, you want to be in a position to be able to support them.

“The Empathy Trap” has already been beneficial to me, before I have even set foot in a classroom. In just my everyday life, several times over the last week or so, I have felt sad and paused momentarily to ask myself: “Is this much sadness appropriate for the situation? Am I over identifying with this person? How might I be more useful to them?

I have often heard that you must take care of yourself before you can care for anyone else, and I think there is wisdom to it. If I’m falling apart as a bystander, how am I going to protect you?

Just thinking about my thinking often makes me feel better. If you can manage to step outside of yourself, even momentarily, sometimes you can see more objectively.

The article has helped me understand that I can care for someone without sacrificing my own needs.

How well I am able to put this into practice on a regular basis is anyone’s guess.