Crying 👌

I can’t stop crying. It started in the kitchen. It followed me in the shower. And now it’s happening in my living room chair.

Shane immediately jumped on my lap to comfort me. I know because he doesn’t often sit on my lap in the morning.

It’s amazing how animals know.

It’s not a hormonal or medical upset. This pain feels different. Independent of those things.

This change is going to be hard for me. I know that’s part of it. How am I going to do without being with my kids after school, at dinner, before bed? Derek and I will at least be able to talk to when I get home. But Desmond and Aislyn will be asleep.

I’ll see them in the mornings. If I can get myself up. I will. I will need to see them, to hug them goodbye and tell them I love them.

Besides that, I will want to help them get ready, well, Aislyn, mostly. Desmond is pretty independent.

I will want to be up when Desmond comes downstairs and we have our morning coffee talk (don’t worry, only I have coffee).

I will want to be up for Aislyn’s morning couch cuddles.

I will want to be up so Aislyn can whine at me while I brush her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I say. Her hair gets so snarly, I’m as gentle as anyone could possibly be, and she still only whines at me.

But believe it or not, I don’t mind brushing it. It’s so beautiful and soft and shiny. Especially after it’s brushed.

I feel better now that I’ve talked to you.

Shoot! Groceries! Talk later! Thanks for listening. ❤️💜♥️

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