Back down a little on the scale. I can’t help thinking it’s all a bit meaningless. All it means is that I’m not really moving in either direction. I’m maintaining, I suppose. Which isn’t a bad thing. It’s just that I have this huge opportunity to lose like a rockstar, doing the work that I do. And I’m not losing.
It feels like a colossal waste.
Aislyn just got up. We’re huddled together on the couch, as we sometimes are when we’re both home. She’s playing her Peanuts game.
She’s practicing giving me gentle high fives because of my surgeries.
She says she loves me but she misses her friends. She loves school. I’m so glad for her.
I kind of knew she’d take to school like a fish to water. She just has the right personality. She genuinely loves everyone. I always tell people she’s somehow magically the extroverted unicorn in a family of introverts.
But Derek is much less of an introvert than I am, and less of one than he thinks he is, so maybe she gets it from him.
And Desmond is more outgoing than he used to be, too.
Me, though, I’ve kind of stayed quiet. Since becoming an adult and learning that being different really is okay, and not just something people say, I’ve kind of settled into my own idiosyncratic demeanor and let people come to me. And they do.
I love Aislyn’s personality. Her beautiful soul. She doesn’t know hate. She has no enemies. Sarcasm and cynicism are lost on her.
It might be her age. Or it might not. I don’t know, yet.
I hope experience doesn’t sour her. I don’t think she’ll go through what I did. But it’s hard to say. Girls can be so cruel. And Aislyn is so beautiful, bright, and pure of heart.
I’m creating drama, though, already, where there is none. Worrying unnecessarily. I can’t control other people’s behavior.
You can say it: Chill out, Leah!
I have to go make breakfast. Talk later.