Sticky Stuff 👎 (NO, DESMOND)

I put Bag Balm on my hands every morning. It’s a moisturizer. Because my hands get dry now that I’m older, and they’re also itchy where I had the surgery.

While some moisturizers are just creamy and sleek, though, Bag Balm and others like it: Aquaphor, O’Keefe’s Working Hands, are really thick and gooey.

I dislike the feeling of all moisturizers on my hands (I am sensory defensive, as you may recall, and especially on my hands), but Bag Balm is probably the worst.

But let me tell you something, friends: it works. The itch is gone, the dryness is in remission. My skin is glowing and luminous like it was in my youth.

Look at me, I’m moonlighting as an influencer.

Sometimes I used to tell people I was moonlighting as a stripper. You gotta be careful who you tell that joke, though.

My cousin works at a men’s club, I guess. I asked my aunt (not my cousin’s mom), “Oh, God, she’s not dancing, is she?”

She goes, “Of course not, she doesn’t have the boobs for that!”


First of all, my cousin is absolutely beautiful, stunning, boobs or not. She has the biggest brown eyes and the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen…oh, maybe the eyelashes are not real. But still, beautiful, beautiful girl.

Second, God, that’s just mean.

I hate to think what she’d say about me. Although I kind of already know because she’s already said it. I’d be prettier if I was thinner. Thanks a lot.

What I should’ve said was “I’m fine with how I am, thanks.” Whether it’s true or not. That, at least, might’ve cued her to cut it out.

Often I know what I should say, but I’m afraid to say it.

I’ve been over and over this. I know it.

When you write multiple times a day, sometimes it’s hard to come up with fresh material. But I don’t want to write less. I like what I’ve established.

What I need is a running topics list that I can pull from when I feel like my writing is getting stale. I might’ve had one at some point, but if so, I wouldn’t know what happened to it.

I am stuffy as of last night. I should probably wear a mask.

Have a freaky Friday. Drive safely, enjoy your commute. Talk later. Thanks for reading. ❤️

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