On the Upswing 👍

Scale keeps going up everyday for the last three days. Feeling frustrated.

It might be water weight. I don’t weigh until I’m naked, and sometimes that’s not for hours and by then I’ve drunk a gallon of fluid.

We’ll see what happens tomorrow, when I’ll be less likely to wait to shower.

I did feel like my towel reached around better today than previous days, but that might’ve been my imagination.

It’s hard to know when you fear measurement.

In my youth I had a tiny waist. I think I blew it out for good in 2016-17 when I was pregnant with Aislyn.

Just to be clear, I don’t blame the pregnancy at all; I 100% blame myself. I used my condition as an excuse to party like a rockstar—except with food.

In 2018 I reached my WW goal of lifetime status at 130 pounds. But even at 130 pounds, I had a little belly that didn’t go away.

When you get older, your skin loses its elasticity, making it harder and harder to get rid of belly fat. I think that’s what happened.

At that little weight, you can’t really tell the belly is there with my clothes on. I’m not sure how I looked without clothes on.

I need to come to terms with the fact that, no matter what, I’m not getting my beautiful 20-year-old body back. It’s just not happening. That time is gone.

Honestly, right now, I’d be thrilled to make it down to 150. I can live with being a little chubby.

I’m even a ways from that, though.

The struggle is real.