Proportion Distortion

As we know, I’ve gained quite a bit of weight in the last year or so, since I got professionally measured, maybe 40 pounds, give or take?

It seems I’ve made another big mistake.

I’ve been buying appropriately bigger sizes in jeans, shirts, shoes, mostly everything.

Mostly.

For some reason, I have failed once again to take my chest measurements into account.

So finally, a year later, I got curious, measured.

Aha. And again I say, that explains a lot.

I’m still wearing the same size from 40 pounds ago. No wonder it’s not really working for me.

For a reasonably intelligent person, sometimes my common sense is just astoundingly bad.

Or maybe I’m in denial? Just plain lazy? It takes two minutes with a tape measure. I can do it blindfolded.

My back size hasn’t changed much, maybe that’s what had me confused?

Either way, once again, I have a spectacular collection of ill-fitting underwear that I cannot exchange because I have already squeezed, shimmied my way into, worn, and laundered it. Lovely.

Might it all fit me on my way back down the scale? Gosh, I hope so. What a waste.

And now I am tasked with finding stuff in a size you don’t see. Do they sell it except in specialty shops?

I don’t see myself as an exceptionally large person. Overweight for my little frame? Of course. But not unusually so.

Why is my chest size so big? I don’t look big. I don’t look small, but I don’t look like what all the calculators say.

I am baffled by my own body.

My best friend from high school always said I had a shattered self-image. I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

I guess, just like anything, you gain weight, they get bigger, too. You lose weight, they shrink, too.

I’ve been seven sizes that I know of throughout my lifetime, which I’m to understand is very typical.

I guess I have to find that happy middle ground, where I feel like I’m thin enough but also still curvy. That wouldn’t be where I’m at now, and it wouldn’t be my thinnest, either.

I’m thinking it would be somewhere like 130-150. It seems far away, but it really isn’t, if I have more weeks like this one.