Undeclared

The writing prompt on Jetpack today is: do you believe in fate/ destiny?

I don’t know.

I used to. In high school. When I was still very conservative and Catholic.

Oh yes, I was a Catholic school girl. I even had the little plaid skirts and a jumper cut yea high. My God, the stuff I got away with!

Super cute, but forget it, boys.

Anyway…

I’m not sure anymore. Are some things meant to happen? Sometimes it feels so strongly like they are! Certain events, people you meet.

I mean, to at least some extent, your life is what you make of it. Your decisions shape who you are and who you’ll become.

But, for example, are some people just meant for each other? And do their paths intersect at some point or another for a purpose?

Is there a reason why we feel deeply connected to some people we meet?

*Cough* Pheromones.

Nah, that’s me being cynical…sort of.

I think certain people are just naturally compatible with one another, depending on personality type, intelligence, temperament, and lots of other things. Pheromones, on top of all that, help.

But, as usual, say it with me: I digress.

Do things happen for a reason? Or are they completely random, and simply become what you make of them after the fact?

I cannot decide this.

My brain, which wants to be objective and logical, says there’s no such thing as destiny, that you create your own path.

My heart, though, as is often the case, says something else. Can it really be that every event in my life has been random?

Like, nothing so far has ever happened to me on purpose? I wasn’t supposed to grow up the way I did? I wasn’t supposed to go to UNH? Meet Katey? Chloe? Derek? Other, more recent people?

I wasn’t supposed to have Desmond and Aislyn?

I can’t get my head around that. Especially the last one. I feel like I was meant to be Desmond and Aislyn’s mom.

I guess I am officially undecided on this. And I don’t know if I ever will really decide one way or the other.

Maybe it’s not important.

I think what’s important is that I always keep learning. Always keep growing. That I don’t stay stuck.

So where am I at with that?