I had a headache in my eye last night. The kind that blossoms into a full blown migraine if I donāt tend to it immediately.
I donāt get migraines that often, anymore. Iām on meds for that, tooā¦I think?
Actually, Iām not sure I still am. My blood pressure meds initially were prescribed to treat migraines. But over the years theyāve changed so many times that Iām not sure if the one Iām currently on doubles as a migraine med.
Itās okay, I donāt feel like I need something for migraines right now. Theyāre pretty rare. This one might have been related to my cycle.
I could, on the other hand, use something for nightmares. I freak out the kids when I talk in my sleep. And, yes, unfortunately, I am often loud enough that they can hear me.
And, yes, unfortunately, itās when Iām sleeping that I seem to use my most colorful language.
Iām on several medications, and, yes, that does concern me. I suspect the nightmares are a side effect from certain of my meds, but there are some that are just non negotiable:
- Blood pressure, obviously
- Antidepressants/ anti-anxiety
- ADHD
- Antihistamine
- Miralax
- Mirapex as needed
Some of the others I might be able to live without:
- Antibiotic for acne
- Antiperspirant
- Vitamin B
Jeezā¦that really is quite a cocktail.
If my diet was better, itās possible I wouldnāt need the Miralax.
Restless Legs Syndrome can also be a side effect of some medications, I think. There are nights I canāt sleep unless and until Iāve taken Mirapex.
The first three are the ones I need the most. Even the first two. The ADHD meds I did without until 2017, and, while they help a lot and I struggle without them, I could conceivably get by. Just not as well.
The antidepressants, I think, are the ones with all of the unpleasant side effects: weight gain, nightmares, etc.
But I need them just as much as I need my blood pressure medication. Depression is a medical condition. I am not ashamed of it, and I know medicine helps me. So I donāt mess around with my antidepressants.
Interestingly, Adderall can help you lose weight, and it didāat first. I lost a good 50 pounds after I started taking Adderall.
But I gained it all back. And then some.
Oh yes, Iāve been way up and way down and back again since becoming a mom. And, Desmond, I promise you, I donāt blame childbirth. I think itās mostly my compounding poor habits, merely coinciding with my motherhood timeline.
Sure, your body changes when you have kids. But mine didnāt need to change so drastically. I used my pregnancy with Aislyn as an excuse to party like a rockstar with food for nine months. I will own that. And I nearly doubled in size from my original tiny frame.
Original Leah was a skeleton, though. I was bony. I was flat chested. I know itās hard to imagine me bony, but I was.
I felt under a lot of pressure to stay that thin. I was always single because of my poor social skills (Iām thinking thatās why?). I figured being skinny was the best way to attract a mate.
Lots of men thought I was cute, but none of them wanted to be in a relationship, pretty much until I met Derek.
But Derek doesnāt seem to care about my size. So I became complacent and almost immediately started packing it on.
I was up and down for many years on a smaller scale (no pun intended) back before I had kids. 20 pounds up, 10 pounds down, 20 pounds up again, you get the picture.
Probably the best Leah is somewhere between Original Leah and Today Leah. Where I am a bit thinner but can maintain my voluptuousness. That would be about 140-150.
Even that is far away from me.
If weāre going to get really real about this, and I suggest we do, probably Best Leah is actually inside Leah.
It sounds corny. But I think thatās the way I have to see it to be successful at this.
Best Leah is Inner Leah.
Nah, Butā¦Yeah. The Truth About Leah Taylor 