Week in Review

I got on the scale at 2:00 this morning, so I don’t know if I can count it. I usually weigh in around the time of my shower, which is more like 8:30, but that’s after I’ve drunk a ton of fluid. And in this case, eaten a lot of ice cream.

Aislyn had been asking for ice cream all day, and I was too lazy to take her to Lickee’s and Chewies, so I did the dumb thing and ordered Instacart. Now I’ve got it in the house, which is just what you don’t want.

Especially after I’ve been biting my tongue so bad the whole thing looks white. Now ice cream is hugely tempting.

So anyway, if I get on the scale at 8:30, I know the number’s going to go up from what it said at 2:00.

But you’re really supposed to weigh yourself the same time of day every time or it doesn’t mean anything, right?

If I take the lower number, I’m only lying to myself.

The truth is, really, no change this week. Either that or I’ll go up. Despite my hard work all week, 25,000 steps Friday. It’s a wash. Because I come home and screw it up every night.

I’m so frustrated.

I don’t know what would help me. What would make me do better? I feel like I’ve tried everything. But have I? Have I actually followed through with any plan I’ve developed?

I’ve stopped writing for a long time because I’ve been thinking. There are some things I’m still doing. The lockbox. The water. Alarms for tracking only work some of the time.

What about taking the Mirapex at 6:00 every night like I used to, so I don’t have to come back down after bed? Or I suppose I could just keep the bottle upstairs.

Either way, I set an alarm.

What about pre-tracking and pre-planning meals? Again, only partly successful. I usually have all kinds of add ons that I fail to track.

Maybe I should be realistic and pre-track the add ons.

Okay, and here’s the big question: if I’m going to buckle down and go ahead and resolve to do all of these things for the new week, should I track all the ice cream I’ve had today?

Or should I pretend it didn’t happen and start new?

It’s got to be at least 22 points. That’s my entire day, already, right there.

It happened after midnight, so I would typically count that as today.

My gut is telling me I should count it. Because I’m going to make mistakes. But the individual mistakes aren’t what make or break me; the lack of consistency in tracking is.

Okay. Going to count it. Mistakes aren’t “bad.” Mistakes are growth opportunities.

Look at me, I’m growing up.

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