Uh oh…

It might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. But I’m gonna work until I can’t, anymore, and hopefully, by then, my meds will be ready.

If they don’t have the Abilify, I’m going to scream.

Dr. Naimark says that all of the pharmacies seem to be in deep trouble, short-staffed, and so on. That I may find this problem wherever I go.

Fantastic.

Maybe I should become a pharmacist. Can you see me in a white coat, giving frustrated and sick people medicine advice?

I don’t think so. I’m one of those frustrated and sick people. Yeah, no.

It’s highly unlikely that I could’ve done anything remotely medical for plenty of reasons, not the least of them being I’m extremely squeamish.

I was able to dissect a cat in high school without fainting, but that was before I ever owned a cat. I felt bad about doing it, too. But I went to parochial school, and back in the day, you did what you were told. There was no arguing with your teachers about animal rights and alternative assignments. Not that I was aware of, anyway.

And I also thought maybe someday it would be helpful to cats.

But blood? No. Needles? No. I have to look away every time. When my kids get hurt I have to take a deep breath so I don’t show any big reaction to anything.

See, this is not great. I’m already feeling paranoid right now. Like I’m contradicting myself. Am I? I feel as though I am rambling endlessly and not making any sense.

I sent a very long-winded message to Dr. Naimark yesterday, to see if I could get in earlier, or if I should go to the ER, figuring he might know the answer by my stream of consciousness. Like he could tell maybe by what I was writing that I was going cuckoo. But he didn’t comment about it later when he saw me.

I also asked Derek if I sounded like I was making sense to him. He said yes. He said I maybe was just paranoid about not making sense. Somehow, this made sense to me.

I don’t want you to think I am a bad person because I dissected a cat. I love cats. I loved them then, too. I’ve let all our brand new COVID-era furniture go to hell in a hand basket because I don’t believe in declawing.

I just wouldn’t call myself an Animal Rights activist. Does that make me a hypocrite because I have cats?

I also eat meat. All of it. Well, not liver. But most meat.

I was a vegetarian in college for a couple of years, but I’m afraid it had nothing to do with animal rights. I was just experimental.

I love animals. I do. I figured there had to be a good reason why we were learning that in school. It must’ve been my anatomy class. I got straight A’s because I needed to get into college. I needed to get away from home.

Are we still on this?

I’ve got to go. I’m not sure if I can post this.