Dumb Day (So Far)

Work is fine. It’s how I’m feeling about myself that sucks.

I cut my bangs way too short. Now my hair looks totally stupid.

I am feeling acutely unhappy about my overweight-ness right this second. I am mad at myself that I’ve had all these months of WH to lose hella pounds and yet somehow, I have not.

Ooooh, 10 pounds. BFD. It should’ve been 25, by now.

I do not like the way I look today, which is disappointing, because this is probably my most flattering setup.

My whole tongue hurts from biting.

Why do I beat myself up? It never helps. It just makes me feel terrible.

The scale was up this morning. Sometimes that’s a trigger for me, even though I know it’s just a moment in time. I still get down on myself.

I tracked all yesterday. I went way over my budget, and I still tracked, just like I said I would. That’s a good thing, right?

I’ll be okay. It’s not that I’ve made no progress at all. I’ve been able to basically maintain my weight since September. I had been just going up, up, up every month in production.

I’ll get through this week. And the next one. And the next. I’ll focus on not gaining holiday weight, and that will help a lot.

It’s not just my body. I’m stressed out about so many things, right now. I don’t even have time to name them.

I think I just need someone to reassure me that everything is going to be okay.

Sometimes, I just need to be coddled.