When Yer Underage Drinkin in College (and yer me)

  • Calories are not a thing
  • Consequences are not a thing
  • You’re not nearly as smart, cute, or charming as you think you are
  • You can’t talk
  • You can’t walk
  • You dance too sexy
  • The room spins
  • You’re giddily joyous…until you’re not
  • Some nice but kinda dorky frat guy you don’t know is holding your hair back while you’re on your knees, crying in front of the toilet
  • You fall in a pricker bush and freak out that they will have to amputate your leg
  • You get in a fight with Joe’s roommate, Marc, whom you hardly know, over nothing
  • You wind up sprawled facedown on the women’s bathroom floor at 3 in the morning, mumbling, “I’m never drinking again,” over and over

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