- Calories are not a thing
- Consequences are not a thing
- You’re not nearly as smart, cute, or charming as you think you are
- You can’t talk
- You can’t walk
- You dance too sexy
- The room spins
- You’re giddily joyous…until you’re not
- Some nice but kinda dorky frat guy you don’t know is holding your hair back while you’re on your knees, crying in front of the toilet
- You fall in a pricker bush and freak out that they will have to amputate your leg
- You get in a fight with Joe’s roommate, Marc, whom you hardly know, over nothing
- You wind up sprawled facedown on the women’s bathroom floor at 3 in the morning, mumbling, “I’m never drinking again,” over and over