Three More Days

Three more days of light duty…hopefully. I’m afraid I’m going to go back to the doctor and he’s going to tell me I need to stay on light duty.

I like the warehouse guys fine, but I feel weird being the lone little woman.

Little. Hah. I’m looking at myself in the HR window and I don’t even recognize myself. Not little anymore, that’s for sure.

Am I unnecessarily hard on myself? It’s because I feel like I deserve it. I don’t want anyone to think I don’t recognize what I’ve done. That I’m not 100% self aware. Every minute of everyday I know I have failed again.

I seem to be in a horribly negative space right now. This is good to note. I’m only back on 2 mg of the Abilify. It’s probably not enough. I slept okay, I think. I did get up at midnight for a little bit. I’ve got to stop the soda at night.

Of course, I am in some physical pain, too. But my tongue does look like it might finally be starting to heal.

Why can’t I get out of my own way? I can make excuses all day about why I’m not succeeding, but it all boils down to me, and my lack of tracking. That’s it.

Some good news: yesterday’s interview went well, the e-commerce at the other store. I wouldn’t be surprised to get a second interview. I’m just not sure about the pay on that one, whether it’s negotiable at all.

Generally, I don’t ask about compensation until I’m offered the job. The advertised rate is lower than what I need. I’m hoping I can bump it up if they make an offer. I’m a pretty good negotiator.

I mean, I have a master’s degree. All these skills. Writing and retail experience. I would think I’d be very valuable to them. Hey, it’s worth a shot, right? Worst they can say is no.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to just go back to the warehouse today. HR guy didn’t say. So I’m waiting in the office for him. I feel like I’m doing something wrong because I’m not working. Here he is. Got to go.

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