The Mirror

There are full-length mirrors in the booths at Sun Tan City. I wish there weren’t. Every Sunday I have to see myself half-naked in those mirrors under fluorescent lighting.

All I can think when I see myself is that I used to have a beautiful body, and look what I’ve done to it.

Part of it is normal. You have two kids, your body changes. There’s no getting around it. Some women don’t have any kids to avoid “ruining” their bodies. Even I’m not one of them. I’ve always wanted kids, regardless of what it did to my figure.

The rest of it, though, is on me. Literally. A result of poor habits and lack of planning. Maybe meds? I don’t know. Antidepressants are notorious for weight gain. But then, Adderall has the opposite effect.

I think it mostly boils down to me. I can’t continue to make excuses.

What goes up must come down. I can get myself back down. I’ve done it before.

My 17-day diet book is coming today. I’m anxious to start reading it, see if it’s doable for me. I think it will be.