3 AM

I went to bed early again. And now, for whatever reason, I’m wide awake.

I called about the letter, was forced to leave another phone message, which again was not returned.

I know people are busy, but this…I don’t know. Make two minutes to tell me it’s not done, yet. Or whatever. At this point?

This situation is really frustrating for me. Was it just too good to be true? I really want this job. I need the change of hours. I want to be writing again. It seemed like a sure thing. I turned down another, perfectly good job for this one. Why is it not happening?

Now I feel like I’m spiraling. I can’t think about this right now. But it’s 4 in the morning, I can’t think about much of anything this early.

I could lay back down and try to snooze till 4:30, but I’ve already eaten, taken my meds and had my coffee.

The dentist thinks I just bit my tongue really hard, but he said to come back in two weeks to have it checked. Two weeks is September, can you believe that?

I wanted to lose 30 pounds by September. Hah.

Leslie showed me this 17-day plan that I might try, said she lost like 35 pounds in just a few months. You can do anything for 17 days, right?

I think I’m just so exhausted all the time that I just don’t have the energy to follow a program, or to do much of anything. I think she’s right. I’ve got to call my doctor and see if there’s something else going on.

Maybe I have chronic fatigue syndrome. Or, I mean I did have COVID, and it can take a long time to fully recover from that. I think I’ve been even more tired since COVID.

I’m just trying to get through the day right now, and it’s a horrible way to live. But it’s not like I haven’t been trying to find a solution.

Anyway, that’s it for now. See you at break time ❤️

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