Help Me

I want to write for you right now, but I’m stumped on a topic. Let’s think, what would you want to hear about?

I’m pretty sure I know what you don’t want to hear about, so I won’t go there, right now.

If I were you, what would I want to know?

You can’t tell, but I am smirking.

Still no letter. In case I left this out, I’m waiting on an official offer from my new job before I give notice at my current job. That’s smart, right? It’s what you’d do, isn’t it?

But I was supposed to get it yesterday. I’m not sure what to do. Wait? I guess. I’m not going anywhere.

I feel bad for the kids. It’s too hot to play outside, and they’re getting stir crazy. We used to have a small pool and sprinklers, but neither of them liked those things in the past.

Desmond’s BFF who’s moving to Hawaii tomorrow carved a magic wand out of a stick for Desmond. Like a Harry Potter kind of wand. He made them for a couple of other friends, too. He’s been such a good friend to Desmond. I’m really, really sad for both of them.

I try not to cry a lot in front of the kids. I don’t know, maybe I heard it wasn’t good for kids, to see their parents cry often. I don’t remember. But poor Desmond the other night. He was so sad, I had to turn my head away from him while trying to comfort him. And of course my voice probably broke. I told him I wished there was something I could say, but there really wasn’t anything, and I was so sorry, and I just kind of sat with him and stroked his hair as he lay crying.

Just thinking about it now is giving me a lump in my throat.

It’s so hard and so frustrating when you can’t fix things for your child.

We’re in for more tears ahead, I’m sure. It’s giving me a headache. I love my kids so much, and just like any parent, all I want is to take away their pain.

This post has taken a deep dive into the melancholy, hasn’t it. That’s okay. It must be it was meant to end on a sad note. I’m just going to let it.

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