FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

I had my eggs at 3:00 and guess what? Starving by 4:00. So I scarfed down graham crackers and Fiber One bars. Good plan.

The only thing that really ever sustained me were the stupid protein shakes, which caused me months of constipation.

Why am I so ridiculously hungry? It can’t still be the Depo…right?

It can take up to 10 months to get pregnant after going off Depo. I wonder if it is still affecting me.

Well, now that I’ve ruined yet another day…

Can you tell I’m in a bad mood? I tend to beat up on myself when I’m angry or upset. Or frustrated.

Here’s a weird thing. I’ve actually somehow convinced myself that putting myself down makes me feel better. I guess I don’t want anyone to think I’m unaware of my weight. I don’t know why it matters.

I have a very negative self talk narrative on repeat in my brain most of the time, and I haven’t bothered to try to shut it down, lately.

It’s a sad, sad story.

I’m tired. I think I’m going to close my eyes for a little while, while Aislyn is watching this horrible, Cocomelon ripoff kids show.