Hold Me

So I just found out I didn’t get the job I wrote a blog for. They came right out and said it was good, but others were better.

That really bums me out. I know there are better writers than me. Obviously, there are, or I wouldn’t still be looking for a job. But I don’t like to have to think about it every minute of every day.

I’d cry, but I have a headache already. This was a bad day to forget my meds.

I can’t even express how utterly torn up inside I feel. Just, this is what it’s like to want something so, so badly and not quite be able to grasp it, hold it, envelop it. Do you know what I mean?

Am I chasing something that isn’t meant to be?

But it feels wrong not to pursue it.

My heart hurts.

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