Month of Sundays

I got a huge non-scale compliment from Kimmy today. She was stunned when I told her my age. Blown away. She thought I was much younger.

Readers, I realize you’re tired of hearing about how young I supposedly look for my age. But, appropriately enough, it will never get old for me. Because it’s all I have right now.

Also, if I’m completely honest, there are signs of aging on me that are not on my face, they’re just not as obvious because I’m able to conceal them with clothing. I just feel compelled to share this, I don’t know why.

I got some good advice from Deb today: let go of the past. She’s right, of course, and anyone else who reads my blogs regularly, I’m sure you know it, too: I’m a big time dweller. I mean, I’m still in middle school sometimes, right? Makes for good writing material, though. I’ll come back to that shortly.

Some of the things Deb said to me reminded me of what my first therapist ever used to say to me when I was 14. One thing that really resonated was the idea of not worrying about the things I can’t control. And the workshop reinforced this theme.

You might say I’m a bit of a control freak in some ways. Not so much with other people, I don’t think, but with my environment, and my circumstances. I do become anxious about some things over which I have zero control.

Again, I think meditation would help me. It’s just a matter of carving out 10 minutes somewhere in my day to do it. Maybe before bed? Instead of raiding the kitchen?

I wonder if it would help me sleep better, too. I talk and shout and rage in my sleep. You know, in addition to grinding, clenching, and snoring.

Obviously I’m stressed. Maybe I am stressed out about things I can’t change. Well, money, I can change, and I’m trying. The kids’ medical stuff, I can’t really change without help. The cleanliness and orderliness of the house, I need help. My weight, I can change, but it’s going to take time, now, because I’ve put on a lot since December.

So I have sort of a mix of things I can control and things I can’t. I need to learn how to manage through what I can’t control to be more successful at WW, and in general. I liked the idea one of the other members had about only one snack at night, then stay out of the kitchen. I may try that one again.

I’d go to more workshops if I had the time or energy, but I really don’t. Of course, I could attend virtual meetings, too. But I don’t really participate in those the way I do in person, so I don’t know.

Maybe hanging out upstairs more is still a good idea.

I do have to go for now, because I am legit hungry for lunch. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talk more about my writing. As always, thanks for reading 🤗

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