And Next on the Agenda

I get to clean pee and poop out of my daughter’s clothes. The good news is she’s my daughter. People always say it’s different when they’re your own. They are not wrong.

I am increasingly worried about her, though, in school in September. I know there’s no shaming, scaring, or even reasoning that will make her accident-free. So what do I do?

Her pediatrician would say sticker charts or other rewards. But as a not-quite behaviorist, I know all about sticker charts and other rewards, and I feel like that might work for a day. I mean, I’ve tried things like that: stickers, prize box, even *gasp* food. Food’s a big no-no, but I tried it, anyway.

Somebody tell me what would consistently work. I know you want to. Don’t hold out on me. Come on…please?

Don’t all jump up at once.

I’d hire a behaviorist. I would. But there’s a medical component to this too, and it’s impossible to separate one from the other. We’d have to stop the Miralax, and we can’t do that. She’ll get constipated again.

I can’t home school her. She’s so excited about school. Hmmm…maybe if I told her we might have to home school. I hate to threaten, and I hate to lie, but I’m getting desperate.

Are we sure there’s not an expert in the house? Don’t be shy. Saith the introvert.