I didn’t go to my meeting. I woke up with a splitting headache behind my eye, tried to sleep it off, but I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I just lied there for a while.
I should have gone. I really need the support right now.
Aislyn is watching Frozen for the millionth time. It’s the only movie that both she and Desmond will sit through in its entirety. Well, not Desmond anymore, but he loved it when he was little little.
It used to drive me crazy, but I like it now. I kind of identify with Elsa and her isolation. When I was a kid, I mean.
I can’t sing, though.
Anyway, so there’s a ton of things I can do today. Whole house a disaster. I really need to finish Desmond’s room. Usually, I do it all in one day, but this time, it’s so involved that I don’t think it can be done in a day. It doesn’t look that bad in the photo, but that’s only one area of the room. It’s really a huge room.
As for the rest of the house, I wish there was a way we could keep it clean throughout the week so I didn’t have to spend hours on it on the weekends. It doesn’t seem like it would be that hard, right? Just a bit of throwing things away, putting things back, wiping, and sweeping. Even the kids could do that.
I feel like it would give me back a significant portion of my weekend, and wouldn’t take anyone else more than five minutes a day.
I could do it all myself, but then I’m just back where I started.
Already, I come home from work, and do a few things before I sit down, because I’ve been on my feet for eight straight hours, and once I sit down, it’s over. I change my shirt, make my lunch, and lay out my clothes for the next day. It’s not a lot, but it feels like a lot after the eight hours of standing. Concrete floors. We do have mats, though.
I have to go get my tan, too. It really only lasts a few days. I’m white and speckled. I had to paint my toenails because they’ve turned brown. Hooker dark red. It was the only color I thought would cover the brown.
And of course I had to paint Aislyn’s toenails as well, and of course I only bought that one bottle of polish.
There are a lot of reasons I don’t wear makeup. For one thing, and I don’t mean to sound conceited, but I don’t think I need it, yet. My only signs of aging so far on my face, knock on wood, are my laugh lines, which are quite prominent, but I’m told they add character.
I don’t think there’s anything I could do with makeup that would improve my laugh lines. Maybe someone more talented with a brush could transform me, make me look 10 years younger, but I only seem to make myself look clownish when I put on any makeup. People have actually said things like, “What happened to your face?”
In college, I wore dark lipstick. Not goth. But I could never find the right color. I used to smoke, and people would say my teeth looked yellow.
I did have my teeth bleached about five years ago, so they look better than they did. They’re not glowing white like some, but definitely like a natural white.
I don’t have the time or patience for makeup. I get bored just drying my hair after two minutes, so I don’t do that, either.
So anyway, Aislyn’s little toenails are the same, hookery color as mine, now. I did convince her she didn’t need her fingernails painted that color, though, so there’s that. I promised I’d get some pretty pink, purple, and blue colors for her fingernails.
Last Christmas, she asked for makeup. I’m like, WHAT? Where would she have gotten that idea? TV? So I got her a bunch of pretend makeup because she’s not old enough for the real thing. I mean, what’s next? A phone?! God help me.
So, with that I must (finally) shower and be on my merry way. Will talk later. Thanks so much for reading ❤️