I had much more energy yesterday. I drank extra coffee at lunch. I also got up at 7, rather than 4:30, though.
I have no control over what time I get up during the week. The only thing I can do is get a different job…again.
I’d like to stop job-hopping. But 6 to 2 is proving very difficult for me.
I’ve never been a morning person Before I officially became an adult (graduated from UNH), I was the complete opposite: a night owl. I’d be up until 3 a.m. and not get up until 11.
Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t work that way.
I would definitely function better on a 9-5 schedule. But then I couldn’t get the kids off the bus on Tuesdays and Fridays (Derek’s office days). Unless I did remote work again. That seemed to be the best possible scenario for me. I just wasn’t making ends meet at Content Cucumber. And finding remote work is incredibly difficult, because you’re competing with the whole world of writers instead of, like, five locals. I’ve gotten very close a few times, but ultimately lost to someone with more experience, someone who’s already been part of a startup, etc.
I could argue that Social Significance was a startup, but it wasn’t really a startup so much as a very troubled, fledgling business that almost shut down until the 11th hour, when they were rescued by some investors. But that was after they’d already dumped me. Whatever, my boss didn’t like me, anyway.
He asked me once why I never hugged the kids. I don’t know, I’m not a hugger, I guess! I’m always worried about how the huggee will react, for one thing. Like, do they want me to hug them? Who knows? I do definitely hug when they get hurt or if they’re crying.
I was very affectionate toward the kids I worked with. I loved that age, it was my favorite (preK). And until that particular director, no one had ever questioned that. But like I said, he didn’t like me.
He had a totally different idea of how I should behave as a lead teacher than how I was in reality. I am a very hands-on, front line, down-in-the-trenches with the troops type of leader. It might just be my personality, or it might be all the years I spent down in the trenches as a teacher’s assistant, prior to becoming a teacher.
He was always pushing me to delegate, delegate, delegate. But I usually have a different idea in my head of how I like things done from the end product when I delegate to other people. I’m not being critical of support staff, I think it has to do with my own idiosyncrasies. How I communicate what I want done. When I say, “Cut the art project this way,” it often gets done in a way I hadn’t envisioned. And I like my way better. So I just do it myself. I like to.
There’s a chance I might be a bit controlling. Or perfectionistic (not a real word).
I’m probably a better assistant than a teacher, I don’t know. But they loved me at The Children’s Center and St. Louis.
I let my teacher certification lapse when I decided to become a professional writer. That may have been a mistake. Because here I am, still not a professional writer.
Maybe I could still be a BCABA (assistant) or an RBT (technician). I think my coursework is too dated, though. It’s now over a decade old.