So Hard

I’m already at like 24 points. I know I’m supposed to have self-compassion, but right now, I’m just feeling self-frustration.

I want this so bad. You really have no idea. You think you do, but you don’t. Why can’t I follow through?

Because it’s hard. If it were easy, everyone would be a healthy weight. You can quit smoking. You can quit drinking alcohol. You can’t quit eating.

God, and I’m still hungry! I guess that just means I’m lacking something, like protein.

Okay, I see the remote, my cat, Aislyn, a red shoe, and a striped sock. I feel my finger on my lip (I touch my lips a lot), the skin on my face, a bump on my head, and my phone in my hand. I hear the TV, my finger tapping the screen, my nails scratching an itch (I’m a very itchy person, too). I smell…absolutely nothing. I taste my blueberry iced coffee.

I’m quite tired. I could go to sleep right now, but I have Aislyn’s appointment.