We’ve Only Just Begun

No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, mess, mess, mess. Everywhere. So frustrating.

It’s tempting to think, “Oh, she’s exaggerating, it can’t be that bad.” Let me assure you: it is that bad.

I set up systems all throughout the house that I think are easy, highly visual, and self-explanatory, like shelves in the entryway for shoes, shelves in the dining room for games, hampers for clothes, bookcases for books, but they are seldom followed.

I don’t understand. Why is it so hard? Am I being unreasonable?

Every week, Monday through Friday magically erases everything I’ve done on Sunday. I spend hours of my Sundays cleaning up after the prior work week, only to have it all undone because things can’t seem to be put back or thrown away.

It’s hard to work 40 hours a week, especially the work I do, standing in one place all day everyday in the wee hours of the morning and keep the house clean. I try to implement systems to make it easier, but, like I said…

Last night was my night to do the dishes, and I admit, I dropped the ball. I was too tired by the end of the day. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and just give up.

The good news for everyone, I guess, is I never give up for long. I can’t. Maybe it’s just the Type A in me, sounding out my rallying cry: “I’ve only just begun to fight!”

I need to go, because Aislyn is literally all over me to play. I do play, but her need for me right now is seemingly bottomless. It is probably developmentally appropriate and I should nurture it, and I should remember it won’t always be this way, and I will wind up missing her and feeling full of regret that I didn’t do enough, regardless of how much I did. Wow, run-on sentence, much?

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