Bad Smells

Bacon Grease

The bacon grease can under the sink tipped over. Full disclosure: I don’t do the cooking. In fact, I don’t really cook in general (I do do most of the cleaning, though). So I had no idea how bad bacon grease can smell. Until today. Yikes!

Bug Spray

While the front of our house is located in downtown Dover, our backyard is in, believe it or not, the woods. So I don’t let the kids play out there without a good coating of Deep Woods Off. I know some of you are cringing in your all-natural, 100% organic skin, but when it comes to Lyme Disease, I say bring on the chemicals. But man, does it stink! I put it on myself, also, and that’s all I can smell, right now. Time for a shower.

Shaw’s Supermarket in Sanford, Maine in Autumn When You’re Pregnant

Trust me, mommies-to-be. Don’t go in there. There’s some seasonal, spicy fragrance that will make you want to toss your cookies.

Onion Breath

I don’t like onions. It’s more of a texture thing than a taste thing, I think. But onion breath is still pretty nauseating.

Sweat

Sweat just has this nasty odor that I cannot tolerate. Side note: did you know there are bugs that are actually attracted to your sweat? Sweat flies. My two favorite things: sweat and bugs. Awesome.

Feet

Especially if you wear shoes without socks!

Pot

It stinks like a skunk, doesn’t it? For a substance that makes one so giddy, the smell sure does move me to tears.

Milk Spills

Somebody spilled milk on the carpet in this preschool classroom where I worked many, many moons ago, and that was all we could smell all year.

Shaving Cream

Some people love this smell, but it gives me a headache.

Farts

Who can argue with this one?

Bad Smells I Actually Like for Some Reason

• Gasoline
• Cigarette smoke: not stale smoke, though, like my grandmother’s house. Nope, the smell has to be coming directly from someone’s lit cigarette.
• Chlorine: maybe this isn’t such a bad one. I must associate it with cleanliness and or swimming pools. These are a few of my favorite things.
• The house I grew up in: again, not a bad smell, per se, just distinct. Heh heh heh, she said “dis-stinked.”