Plans for Today

• Research editorial
• Research company for whom I’m writing editorial
• Nap
• Write editorial

A little different from my usual list of plans. I’ve had a very sedentary week. No workouts at all, because of my mood, which has basically been “What’s the point?” Which I know isn’t great, but it is what it is. I’m not going to lie to you about how I’ve been feeling.

I know I’ll eventually get out of this funk, hopefully sooner than later. It’s not helping me in any way. It’s just a question of when. And how bad is withdrawal going to be for me? Maybe I’ll be lucky and I won’t have many severe symptoms. Maybe not. We don’t know, yet.

I work with this guy (I don’t know his name) who looks so much like this other guy I know, I did a double take. But he totally avoids any kind of eye contact with me when I pass him, and that’s how I know it’s not the other guy I know. The other guy makes very good eye contact and smiles a lot. This guy? Nope. He looks mad as hell all the time.

I know I’m going to get to my goal. I have to, now. Really, really have to. Want to, need to so bad, so bad I can taste it in my mouth, on my tongue.

But I don’t know when. I don’t know how far in the wrong direction I’m going to careen before I can reverse this…curse.

Just don’t give up on me. Stay with me. That will help.