Snow

Because of the snow, I stayed home today. I pretty much had my mind made up already last night though. I slept until 7:45 (Derek got up with the kids). For me, that’s sleeping in, now.

I don’t feel rested, though. I feel sleepy, groggy. Of course, I’m still drinking my coffee.

Aislyn is watching Frozen. It brings me back to when Desmond loved Frozen. I have fond memories associated with this movie: Desmond choreographing his own interpretive dance at the age of 2, for example. Driving him around, listening and singing along to the soundtrack, which I knew by heart, of course.

But it is really a sad story. I know it ends well, but… I can’t help but identify with the Elsa character, needing to hide and control her powers, feeling isolated, reminds me of having to manage depression and anxiety. Mental health conditions are still stigmatized to a certain extent. Or at least they have been in my lifetime.

“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, be the good girl you’ve always had to be. Conceal, don’t feel, put on a show, make one wrong move and everyone will know.”

Until recently, I’ve felt that depression was something to hide, except from family and close friends. But I meet so many people who suffer from depression or anxiety, or both, that I’ve become much more comfortable discussing it openly with others.

Still, I don’t always disclose the information as a disability when applying for a job, and I certainly wouldn’t broadcast it at work. You’re not supposed to discriminate against people with disabilities, but it still happens sometimes.

Do I worry that the wrong person might find me on social media? Not really. Okay, I’m lying, sometimes I do, which is why I occasionally go through and “clean house.” But usually, it has little to do with my medical diagnoses themselves. I have published articles on the web about it, in any case.

I tried, for example, not to be too incendiary about my previous job. I probably failed, but I did try. Like many businesses, they did have a social media policy. As difficult a time as I had there, at least in the second half of my tenure, I didn’t want to violate any policies.

It occurred to me that I probably never should’ve named the specific business I worked for in the first place. I’ve done it this time, too, if you’ve been paying attention. Although I think this will be a much more positive experience, and I’ll have many more good things to say.

It’s hard not to talk about your work. You’re there 40 hours a week.

I have to go now. I’m playing “colors” and Octonauts with Aislyn.