WW?

I’m not sure if I‘m even going to WW. I should, even if I’m unhappy with the number on the scale. Even if I’m dreading it. The workshop is the important part.

My own scale is out of batteries. So I don’t know exactly how bad the situation is. I did try this morning.

I dreamt I had a sickness where I was so exhausted I couldn’t even stand up and I could barely talk.

I can barely keep my eyes open right now. I might go back to bed. Nah, no point. My alarm is set for 8:00.

I have a TJX gift card from Mom burning a hole in my pocket. I kind of want to save it, though, for when I’m closer to goal. I’m going to need smaller sizes, then. But goal seems so unattainable right now because of the goddamned Depo.

March 9 will be the three month mark. Unbelievably, I’ve almost made it through the three months. Unfortunately, the stuff stays in your body longer than that.

I don’t know how long the side effects will persist. I’m still feeling them fully right now. Dr. Naimark said they won’t vanish overnight, but taper off over time. I’m still waiting for them to taper.

I do actually have a pretty good collection of clothes that will fit me at goal. They’re in an under bed storage box. Sometimes if I really love something that’s too small, I still buy it and add it to the collection, knowing it will fit in the future. I try not to do it too often, though.

Some of the stuff I have is old, old, old, that I’ve saved because I like it that much. I have a dress from 1996, for example, that still fit me around my goal weight, which is 125. It’s still appropriate, it’s long and green.

I have a collection of expensive bras, now, too, that I’m concerned will not fit me at the end of this journey. You cannot have bras tailored, as far as I know.

But I figured I was justified in buying expensive ones because you’re supposed to wear good quality, well-fitting bras for ample support. And I had none. They were all super cheap and too small.

TJ Maxx is the cheapest place I can get my Skinny Syrups for my coffee, cheaper even than Amazon. I think I go through them too fast. I got some serving pumps, that should help.

So, anyway, I’ll probably go to WW. It’s just a number, after all. And I want this to be a better week. The best way to do that is to kick off with a motivating workshop.

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