I was up at midnight and then again around 3. I have 5 points left for the day, and I haven’t tracked dinner, yet.

So I’m on this hormone that causes weight gain, and I don’t sleep through the night. It seems the odds are stacked against me right now.

I wonder if there’s any wisdom in just trying to maintain for now. Maybe trying to lose is asking too much of my already overextended body, and I’m setting myself up for failure. Maybe right now has to be about damage control. Maybe I’ve been embroiled in an uphill battle, and it’s only causing me frustration and inevitable shutdown.

It’s only just barely 2022, after all. There’s still the whole year ahead of me. Maybe right now just has to be about making the best of a bad situation. I don’t want to sabotage how far I’ve come and continue building momentum in the wrong direction.

When I track honestly and consistently, I always do better. Always. Even if I don’t make the best food choices. Even if I wind up with a negative balance for the week. If I own my remaining 5 points and whatever else I have to deduct today, I will do less harm than if I completely give up for the day and stop tracking.

Giving up “for the day” is a recipe for disaster. It’s actually how I gain back all the weight I’ve lost. Because giving up for the day quickly turns into giving up for the week, and the cycle repeats the following week.

I have to just not give up at all. I have to accept that I’m going to make less desirable choices, especially right now. I have to own all of my decisions, good and not so good. That’s what it’s all about. Winning and learning.

I’m shocked no one’s up, yet. It’s 6:11. Still, it was nice to have this time for reflection.

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