Retail Therapy

I found this dress that is absolutely, 110% me. But I had to cancel and reorder it in a larger size to accommodate my chest measurements. I hope it will fit right everywhere else, because it’s perfect.

If it’s made in China, which it probably is, I would need to upsize, anyway, because they make everything so tiny.

The librarian thing. Shhhhh.

That’s what I ought to do. Work in a library again. I did that at UNH my junior year. It was easy, and quiet. Nobody bothered me. Except one guy I knew from high school, Swampscott High School, before I transferred to St. Mary’s in 10th. He wouldn’t stop staring at me.

It really annoyed me, because I knew he wasn’t doing it because he liked me. He was one of the popular kids in school, and I, of course, was a nobody. Worse, even, than a nobody.

Anyway, he had been in the same Environmental Conservation general education lecture as me freshman year of college. I know because one day, he shouted “Leah,” from across the lecture hall. When I looked up and saw him and his friend, looking, I recognized him right away.

A nice person would’ve waved to me, once they’d gotten my attention, or said hey. But not him. He and his friend just gawked. Or maybe they weren’t even looking by the time I saw them. I don’t remember, anymore. I just remember, whatever it was, it was not really meant to initiate contact with me, just to point me out to his friend. And that it was rude.

It was just, “Hey, check out this weird girl I know from home.”

We’re in college, now, you idiot. Smarten up.

So, anyway, totally staring at me working in the stacks from his study carrel. I ignored it. At one point, I glared back. He wouldn’t stop.

Did I get prettier in college than I had been in middle and high school? Sure. Even back then, I wasn’t bad, just a total outcast. But it wasn’t that. No way. Not possible. So I don’t know what his problem was.

Oh, my God! I have negativized even this post, about shopping! Sorry, readers. I should’ve stopped at “Shhhh.”

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