Happy Christmas Eve

I got up at 4:48 this morning, figuring on some alone time. But Aislyn was up at 5:00. Mildly annoyed, I told her to go back to bed, and immediately felt terrible about it.

She actually did go back to bed this time. When I went in her room, her light was off and Sea Turtle was on, but she was awake. I told her I was sorry and she didn’t have to go back to bed. She could get up and change out of her night time pull up. I’d made her breakfast.

Desmond came down shortly after, and he must’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. He had a tantrum when he couldn’t fix the TV, then he harassed Aislyn and threw a plastic ring at me. I sent him back upstairs.

I really need to inspect my clothing closely in the store before I buy it. My leopard sweater has a run in it, right at the bottom of the v-neck. And my holey shirt has a tiny hole in the collar (in addition to the hole that’s there by design). Probably where the cable for the hang tag was.

So I’ve had one bad week. I have to keep it in perspective. I’ve lost just shy of 60 pounds since May. I’m adjusting to the hormonal change in my body from the Depo, which unfortunately makes me ravenous by 8 a.m. That’s new. I wasn’t usually hungry till 11.

My skirt that was tight a month or so ago is loose, now. It looks like I’m starting to get back my hourglass shape. I certainly look different than I did a year ago, which was kind of a balloon shape.

I feel much better, too. Less indigestion. No reflux. The sleep doctor, who was very nice, said that, at 206, I probably did have sleep apnea, but that it would likely go away if I lost weight. And I can do more stuff.

Aislyn is so sweet and cuddly this morning. She loves hugs and kisses. I love her little voice.

I loved Desmond’s little voice at her age, too. I used to say I wanted his laugh as my ringtone. It was (probably is) my favorite sound in the world.

She doesn’t always have on her listening ears, but she’s always trying to be helpful. She means well. And she’s so smart. Maybe not necessarily gifted (how many of us are?), but verbal, creative, sensitive. She’s like me, I think. But hopefully not exactly like me. Hopefully more social. I think also she is a B-type, so more like Derek in that way.

Desmond gets his A-someness from me and his black and white, logical reasoning and mathematical ability from Derek.

I think Aislyn will do well in school if we can just get her toilet trained in time. She’ll rise to the occasion, because she is good-natured and generally wants to please. She’s already going to be ahead because she can read and do simple addition. She’s been reading sight words since at least three.