No Alone Time Today, Either

I actually got up right at 5:00 this morning, however, Aislyn was also up at the buttcrack of dawn. And very, very whiny. But she’s much happier now. All dressed and brimming with positive energy.

I guess I can’t blame her for being up so early. She goes to bed at 7 pm.

I’m afraid that Desmond is dependent on me being in the room with him to fall asleep. I took my Mirapex an hour late last night. It takes about two hours to start working.

I lie down with him and read for 15-30 minutes, then I stay with him, normally until he’s fallen asleep (that’s just how I’ve always done it). But I absolutely could not lie still. I think it’s a side effect of the antidepressant, Latuda. I hate Latuda, too, without the Mirapex. But other than the restless legs, it seems to be effective. I make better choices overall.

So I got up and left, although I was pretty sure he was still awake. Sure enough, a few minutes later, he came in our room saying he couldn’t sleep. We just encouraged him to try. Derek said to count back from 400 without opening his eyes. Start over if you open your eyes. That’s how he used to fall asleep. He went back to his room, but he wasn’t happy.

I’ve got to start weaning him, like, three years ago. I know that. But I figured at this point, I’d wait until after Christmas.

He is otherwise not overly dependent on us. He’s always entertained himself extremely well. I mean, he was an only child for four years, but always had great independent play skills.

Maybe I need to wean myself from him. I’m not doing him any favors by enabling him. Aislyn doesn’t need us in there for more than five minutes, and she’s four.

For a long time I’ve looked at it as a way to bond with him, but it’s no longer age appropriate. I need to back off.

I won’t be able to tuck him in when he’s a freshman at UNH. His girlfriend will have to do that. Ugh, no, I don’t want to think about girlfriends, yet. He’s still all, ewwww, girls, anyway. We’ve got a ways to go.