Dammit

Yes, I know that’s not how you spell it, I’m a writer. Sometimes I just spell words the way I want. Especially when I’m mad.

I’m up 1.8 this week, making last week a total wash. I am so thoroughly ticked off right now.

This is my first significant gain since I came back in May. My only other gain has been 0.8.

It’s the stupid Depo, I know it. Mom said she had trouble with it, too.

I even get little dizzy spells from it. And I think I can feel a pimple starting. I rarely get pimples, anymore. It’s the hormone change.

I have no patience for this. And now I’m stuck with it for 86 more days. What am I going to do for damage control?

Measure my portions. Historically I haven’t measured anything, I’ve just guesstimated, sometimes rather generously. I haven’t needed to measure until now.

Talk to Dr. Naimark. I’ll have to tell my psychiatrist I got the Depo, too, since depression is a side effect. I see him this week. Maybe he can help.

Make a new play list. I will call it: Motivated. And it will motivate me to hop on and get it done. New play lists always do.

Pre-track my week. That will help me stay on target, and make my life easier during the work week.

Not punish myself. That never works. We talked about how it doesn’t work at today’s meeting.

Not make any foods “off limits.” That doesn’t work, either. If I’m not supposed to have it, I’ll only want it more, and sooner than later I’ll end up drowning in it. I will just have to use portion control.