My Addictions

I have a problem. I admit it.

It’s diet soda. I drink way too much of it. And it’s getting worse.

I won’t burden you with the details of how many cans I pound in a day. It would scare you.

I am aware of the correlations between long term artificial sweetener consumption and…some pretty dire consequences.

Unfortunately, I am also addicted to food, and more specifically, sugar. I figured I’d take on and conquer one habit at a time. The complicating factor, here, is that most of the time, for me, when one vice is weakened, the others worsen.

My husband, seeing the contents of my lunch bag (ie all the sodas), stares at me in disbelief.

“I have a problem,” I say.

I bring several sodas to work everyday, then I come home and drink more. It’s amazing I’m not up all night every night from the caffeine. Although I am known to have bizarre, unintelligible conversations and knockdown, drag out fights in my sleep. Powerfully vivid dreams, as well.

I drink water, too, but it has to have some kind of flavor in it. I don’t do plain. That can help limit the soda, to a certain extent.

I’ve quit soda before, but after a while, I’ve always gone back to it. I know it’s something I need to address, I’m just not ready.

It could be worse. It could be pain-killers or alcohol. Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family.

On WW I almost never drink, because alcohol is points, and I’d always rather spend points on other things. I think the last drink I had was in July with my friend, Lori: one Bud Light, which, as we all know, is like sex in a canoe, anyway.

I did quit smoking. I’ll never go back to that. Never any cravings in years.

I must have an oral fixation. It seems I always have to have something in my mouth. Maybe I should get a tongue ring. Then I’d have something in there to play with all day long. I think I may be too…something or other, for a tongue ring, though. Vanilla? Conventional? I don’t know.

Anyway, I figure I’ll develop some kind of three-year plan. Like, after I’ve met my goal weight and maintained it for at least two years, I’ll tackle the soda problem. That’s kind of far away, but it’s better than no plan, right?

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

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